The Hawk
It was three in the afternoon. Again my fear grew within that the clock might be ticking at a speed slower than before. It was a moment of decision. I sat in the garden. I looked at the sky, not knowing what life had before me. My heart had a desire to live, yet was confused.
Then I heard a screech, new to me. I looked far to the left and very far away was a hawk, flying in circles. I stared at it and told it to come to me. I focused my mind and heart. He started flying in circles, circles, circles, as he got closer and closer and closer. He came and flew near above me, making a large circle then another round around the sun then flew away. I paused and wondered. That previous night I had asked a friend for healing energy and prayers. I told him about my experience with the hawk. He responded. Hawks are my totem animal, as he said that it made me trust and know Spirit was guiding me. Where? I did not know.
Difficult times, difficult decisions to make. A move. to where? I did not know. A temporary move? a permanent move? my mind spun.
It was noon days later. The pressure was on, from all directions. I moved to go sit in the garden. Similar spot, another day at another hour. I paused. When suddenly I heard a screech again. I looked up and there it was coming from another direction. Yet was very a far. The hawk. I stared. I called him and he flew around and around in circles until he reached me. This time he came a lot closer. Flew in a circle above my head and moved on. This happened other days, weeks ahead different days different hours. Once he came very low near my left shoulder. I was surprised and wondered. Did he really hear my call? was he truly answering? could he feel my love for him, for nature, for life? was it a loved one from a far saying hello? was it God? saying everything is going to turn out beautifully? The pain in my heart and soul were such that I needed to believe that.
One day the pressure got harder. I had prayed to find a place here to sort out my mind, my feelings my thoughts. I had put an ad in a site and a woman responded saying she had a place that fit my budget, with 2 acres of woods as a garden, in a far away little town. My heart jumped and I organized to go see it. As I arrived, I walked out of the car and saw her. She smiled. she looked latin.
I said,"Hi," are you latin?"
"Yes!" she answered with another smile.
"where from?"
"Guatemala," she smiled again. " and you?"
"Me too" I giggled.
"really!" she responded. "thats great! not many people from Guatemala around here.what are the chances? Come in..."
We both laughed and connected. It was incredible! Guatemala is my home town where Im hoping to move next.
The place. Beautiful! A perfect place to be as I sort out my heart, my soul and my mind to whats next. It has a beautiful porch and has 2 acres of trees, wild life, nature and the air is pure. Purer than I have ever experienced before. The move was simple and I rejoiced. Still in doubt, but also in trust and confidence. This is located around 20 minutes from where I was. The pressure was off. Thank goodness.
The next day, after moving, I sat by the porch and watched and listened to nature. After a few minutes. I heart a screech. Yes there he was, a hawk. He flew around in circles from the forrest until it arrived above my head and flew in a circle above my head, close, very close, then flew into the woods. I couldn't believe it! Two days ago. I had the same experience a call a little different it was a huge hawk. He flew before me with its huge extended wings and called for at least 20 minutes. It was breathtaking, flying before me in circles... wanting to tell me something... reminding me that I am at the right place in the right time and making me think... God has a plan...
I will listen...
My upstairs neighbor from Guatemala... "really? I have never seen a hawk since I have lived here..."
